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ScatterEverything scatters in this universe,
This hazy world of sleeplessness and
Broken thoughts of trying to keep it together,
Hoping to fix was was already shattered,
Falling apart at the seams with nothing but
My hands, so small and useless in the expanse
Of these engulfing tragedies and faults.
How I wish I could fix my mistakes.
They break apart everything that would be good,
All that I might have had by my side
To keep me from bursting into fragments
Of who I was and who I was meant to be.
My memories are scattered now,
Spread across the cosmos and among the stars,
Scattered so far I no longer know where
Who I am supposed to be is.
Silence, Solitude, Loneliness and SorrowSilence is a familiar friend,
One who lies in wait to take my hand,
And lead me back to a place I might call home,
For there I know Solitude again,
And Loneliness and Sorrow.
I am far too acquainted to say that I
Would run away from them.
Yet they can be dangerous friends,
Ones who would break your soul,
And use you until you shatter.
But when others have deserted me,
They will welcome me with open arms,
And give me shelter when I have none.
Beauty in Your LinesThere is beauty in your imperfections,
Beauty in your lines.
There is no pleasure in perfection,
Nor excitement in extremes
That make you seem too far away,
Too lofty to be touched.
I would rather have your imperfections,
Lines that mark your history,
The things you've done,
The things you've seen,
And trials that define you.
There is beauty in your lines,
That outline your sleeping face,
Silhouette of drowsy grace,
And fold the sheets around my waist.
Wrap your lines around mine
And connect our lines until they intertwine
To lose myself in you.
Every NightEvery night,
I drown again in my sorrow.
A boy I know,
Across the ocean,
Takes my heart and claims it.
I fall deeper,
But shroud my darkness in light.
Somehow there will always be
Darkness in the light,
Shadows in the sun,
Blackness in the white.
I die a little more inside,
Paint a face that smiles,
Even when inside is breaking.
More Beautiful and DeadlyI am born of something greater than myself,
Something more beautiful and deadly,
With more charm than the dancing snake
That would entrance the desert hare.
I am more dangerous than that.
To play with me is to play with fire,
To offend me is to beckon an inferno.
You best be careful, boy,
Or you will find your fingers burned.
Tangled MindDancing entwined in these words
That I made up,
Somewhere inside my head,
This madness makes some kind of sense,
I just wish there was some way
To stop it from
Taking over my mind,
Taking over my hands,
Curling around everything that I know,
Consuming all the life that my song would have.
I can't breathe anymore,
I can't hear it anymore,
I've lost what I wanted most,
Reaching for something I was told to want.
I don't want it.
I never wanted it.
I told myself lies,
And now all I get in return are more lies.
Serves me right.
I was never meant to have what I want.
Tell me what to do then.
Make me forget what I desire most,
What I have already lost,
What already digs the knife deeper into my heart.
Make me become the machine
You would have me be.
There is madness everywhere
And only by erasing everything
That makes me who I am
Can this madness be untangled
And the words will finally stop dancing
And maybe the music will come back.
Broken TongueSo he says to me,
I’m not trying to be offensive,
I’m just saying, its obvious English isn’t your native language.
If English isn’t my mother tongue,
I don’t know what is.
I speak broken English,
I speak non-existent Cantonese.
All the kids who look like me on TV
Hold the vocabulary I let sky dive off of my tongue.
I never had a full conversation with my grandparents,
Instead, I would communicate by uttering keywords
Like a Command Prompt, words such as 奶 or
面包, words I could never pronounce properly for the life of me.
Sorry, could you repeat that? I don’t understand.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you,
It’s just that…I don’t know how.
I think English, I dream Cantonese,
I speak…broken tongue.
.you page tearing
give back your
wings, because there is
why they were ripped
away. you cannot hold on
to what you lost.
in the eye of a
storm, you were the one
that fought the eye. and
as much as it
breaks me, that is the reason
why i once loved
you (but i can't hold on
to what i lost).
the spirit pools?
of a human
is the slime
in grief -
to hold it
in your hand,
the spirit pools?
that reflection -
masksWhat happened to all those masks he thought...
he used to like the one with the happy face
but now it chafes and makes his eyes water
it just didn't seem to fit right anymore.
and it produced that funny tin echo when he laughed
the sad faced mask was comfortable when Rafael died
but lately he started slipping it on by mistake
most often during corny scenes in movies
or late at night when no one was around
the anger mask was his favorite when he was young
he wore it proudly with its' red war paint and menacing eyes
but now it was cracked and faded and heavy
so heavy he could only wear it briefly before his neck started to hurt from the strain
the fear mask was broken and was indistinguishable from apathy
the surprise and anticipation masks were lost
he couldn't remember the last time he saw them
maybe somewhere at the bottom of his closet
his least favorite masks, disgust and shame,
were still in fine shape though
he told himself that was because he hardly wore them
that's what he
Who Am I (Part 2)Who Am I (Part 2)
I'm a person who can't write poetry,
I tried to be edgy,
but my idea die more than Kenny.
I worry about my future,
however, like Amadeus to his piano, I have my computer.
I had a war going on in my head,
but a warrior made the happiness take the lead.
I'm a teddy bear,
I'm kind, cute, and caring.
Even though I never had my first kiss,
I can piss over a guy name Chris and run away into the abyss.
That will teach him never to make you cry,
I will protect my friends until the day I die.
You deserve to beYou deserve to be happy, but you can't stop loving him/her
And if you do not let him/her go you never can be happy
Because you can't force him/her to love you
And I know it hurts to hear that
But you have to Remember that he is not the only man/woman on earth who is going to notice you
You're beautiful, strong, intelligent, warm and kind-hearted
And I know there is a person waiting for you
To make you happy and give you lots of love and affection
.:Silver Rain:.I've only seen this in another life, nearing my death for this century I see.
Seems like only yesterday I was watching it fall and caress my face as another being, but the color was a different shade.
I was holding what I thought was mine in my arms; slowly disappearing as my glistening tears dropped to the ground.
The fading, a sight to see for the human body can realize that their time on Earth has finally come to a close... but the pain stayed for eternity going into the next coffin for my troubled soul.
My color fading, the light going dim; my senses and presence... numbing.
It's time for my new body to take form, the being I will be for the next millennium It's my time, once again.
I am the Silver Rain.
Twin Sister - A Creator's LetterI created you flawless and perfect
A carelessness so divine
I gave you these sky blue grey piercing eyes
I gave you a smile none of them could resist
So you could give them the final kitty look and make them always still think you're such a sweetie
I gave you my jet black hair so you could look like me some even more
I gave you my mouth so you could both seduce and reduce at the same time, too
My great Avenger
I love you sister
Can you remember this very one night in the kitchen, sis?
I was telling you how proud I was of you and how much I would have wished to be you
I also asked you to forgive me for the vision I was to inflict you
BUT I HAD TO
You begged me little sister, and you told me you couldn't even imagine what I could ever envy from you
You begged me to let you help me and I told you to listen closely
"I am begging you to forgive me for what is about to happen... But please...never EVER forgive... THEM"
I shot myself in front of you
I HAD TO
I had to let you with this et
Rotten BetrayalWe were never just normal.
We were always beautiful,
Tantalizing and shining.
They wanted to be us,
Wanted to have us.
We knew that and used it,
Played with them like puppets.
But in the end,
We had to fall,
And then the appeal faded.
They turned their backs on us,
And we were left to rot in the fetid air.
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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