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ScatterEverything scatters in this universe,
This hazy world of sleeplessness and
Broken thoughts of trying to keep it together,
Hoping to fix was was already shattered,
Falling apart at the seams with nothing but
My hands, so small and useless in the expanse
Of these engulfing tragedies and faults.
How I wish I could fix my mistakes.
They break apart everything that would be good,
All that I might have had by my side
To keep me from bursting into fragments
Of who I was and who I was meant to be.
My memories are scattered now,
Spread across the cosmos and among the stars,
Scattered so far I no longer know where
Who I am supposed to be is.
Silence, Solitude, Loneliness and SorrowSilence is a familiar friend,
One who lies in wait to take my hand,
And lead me back to a place I might call home,
For there I know Solitude again,
And Loneliness and Sorrow.
I am far too acquainted to say that I
Would run away from them.
Yet they can be dangerous friends,
Ones who would break your soul,
And use you until you shatter.
But when others have deserted me,
They will welcome me with open arms,
And give me shelter when I have none.
Beauty in Your LinesThere is beauty in your imperfections,
Beauty in your lines.
There is no pleasure in perfection,
Nor excitement in extremes
That make you seem too far away,
Too lofty to be touched.
I would rather have your imperfections,
Lines that mark your history,
The things you've done,
The things you've seen,
And trials that define you.
There is beauty in your lines,
That outline your sleeping face,
Silhouette of drowsy grace,
And fold the sheets around my waist.
Wrap your lines around mine
And connect our lines until they intertwine
To lose myself in you.
Every NightEvery night,
I drown again in my sorrow.
A boy I know,
Across the ocean,
Takes my heart and claims it.
I fall deeper,
But shroud my darkness in light.
Somehow there will always be
Darkness in the light,
Shadows in the sun,
Blackness in the white.
I die a little more inside,
Paint a face that smiles,
Even when inside is breaking.
More Beautiful and DeadlyI am born of something greater than myself,
Something more beautiful and deadly,
With more charm than the dancing snake
That would entrance the desert hare.
I am more dangerous than that.
To play with me is to play with fire,
To offend me is to beckon an inferno.
You best be careful, boy,
Or you will find your fingers burned.
Tangled MindDancing entwined in these words
That I made up,
Somewhere inside my head,
This madness makes some kind of sense,
I just wish there was some way
To stop it from
Taking over my mind,
Taking over my hands,
Curling around everything that I know,
Consuming all the life that my song would have.
I can't breathe anymore,
I can't hear it anymore,
I've lost what I wanted most,
Reaching for something I was told to want.
I don't want it.
I never wanted it.
I told myself lies,
And now all I get in return are more lies.
Serves me right.
I was never meant to have what I want.
Tell me what to do then.
Make me forget what I desire most,
What I have already lost,
What already digs the knife deeper into my heart.
Make me become the machine
You would have me be.
There is madness everywhere
And only by erasing everything
That makes me who I am
Can this madness be untangled
And the words will finally stop dancing
And maybe the music will come back.
stupid love poems for stupid boys.he was the
smoke in my
saved for when
i'm so lonely
that i cannot
but the problem
with giving your
heart to a boy
with a pack of
for ribs is that
he will want your
well– and after
all that blood and
blue lip kisses,
he will leave you
with a coughing
lighter and a
burnt tongue (but
it's really a great
Soles (Forest Girl)Soles (Forest Girl)
i didn’t believe in carving initials into trees.
i always told you that was corny to me.
i told you i was a city boy,
comfortable in car drafts
and gleaming lights
that dilute natural shine.
to the sight of airplanes,
police cars and helicopters
than anything else.
but you dreamed of wings
so much bigger than aspect ratio,
so much wider.
you were higher.
so that day you took me there,
i knew i was out of my element.
your forest stories teased me;
sitting on the edge of your shoe soles.
and that riverbank that you tiptoed on.
little smirk always flashing your white pearls
when you were whisking through this place.
holding my hand in a tight grip
as you gave me a tour of your hidden burrow.
i had never been so in--
and out of place before.
the atmosphere was brisk
glancing the hairs on my neck,
goosebumps rising on my skin
as i swore feathers fell from your shoulders.
purple streaks nuzzle orange bands
that hold together golden twines
The Cracks Of RealityI traced the tips of my fingers over her porcelain
Felt the skin raise in bumps of sensation.
My mouth fit so well into the crook of her neck
And as her her eyes closed, her breathing shaky,
I found myself swallowing and my heart beating twice as fast.
As her hips rolled into me, as her nails clenched into the sheets,
She told me once more that she loved me, and I assured her I felt the same.
But then reality came, settling into the cracks of my fantasies.
And she slipped from my fingers.
And I was alone.
homesick for childhoodshe was a carefree little girl
with smiles hidden deep down
in her pockets, and she'd only
give them out to the most deserving.
when the quarter hour of her life
struck, however, things changed.
her world was painted black
on accident, millions of shades
turned ashy due to a sickness
that breeds on those empty
spaces between words.
she was dropped into summer
covered in homemade scars,
and with summer, her innocence
was eaten away.
pinned to a bed
like prey, she watched herself
consumed into another
(this world is the 7 a.m. frost
left on winter windows.
and it scares me)
the days spent on the front stepsevery time you rip the lid off
the shell of styrofoam
questions your motives.
every secret you whisper into her naphthalene
stays there. it dies a little
as protein is scrambled. home is not a place.
her curve is ejected
as unidentified. it is bile
rolling back, the sheet of ebbing tide.
you always speak of horses
armoured, whisky clattering on their breath,
kingdoms burning and knights
riding off into the valley of deep sleep
you always speak of ships
leaving, pearly cord
as a farewell extending from coast
to hull forming an image of crying Mary
it shines in front of you
it calls out your name
but he loves meshe says, "sweets, pay attention:
just because he kisses the bruises on your skin,
don't make up for the fact he gives 'em to you."
untitled.these boys and
lips split, eyes
turning gold in my
i watch them trace
this is where
come from– and as
their road ways, i
e y e l a s h e s
in such a way that
stories fall out of the
yahwehIn fifteen hours I will be strung, pelvis
to sternum, ready to be struck
stomach aching to sing -
There was once when I was whole,
full and stretched to breaking,
I have been a giant in my own skin &
I was not enough to be loved.
& now, finger to thumb, you
swallow my spine in your palms
play my bones,
play my bones,
play my bones //
I am rising to throb
& thud & thrum
of pulse and breath and music
of mantra spilt-spoken,
smeared sacred over wrists
written with sweat & sex,
Muscles tensed for every chord,
Herein is the hallelujah -
You alone, you alone, you,
Hollow my belly and carve me
until I am fluted, crying out
between your hands
I have been too much to love,
every wire & tendon pulled loose
, I have been too much
& now you are here
& you play my bones
until the giant in my skin
becomes a rhythm
until I finally feel
I am enough!
You move me,
spine swallowed and sequestered,
I become holy beneath you
I was too much to love:
Why do you judge?Why do you have the need to judge with your signs?
Do you even know why I am here?
Am I here just because I do not want the responsibility to be a mom?
Am I here because I am not in the right place in my life where I can take care of a child?
Or am I here because I was raped and he didn't use a condom?
Don't you know it is going to hurt me in the long run after I do this?
So how do you sit there with your sings and judge people?
Rotten BetrayalWe were never just normal.
We were always beautiful,
Tantalizing and shining.
They wanted to be us,
Wanted to have us.
We knew that and used it,
Played with them like puppets.
But in the end,
We had to fall,
And then the appeal faded.
They turned their backs on us,
And we were left to rot in the fetid air.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More